Ask Nell
Advice on sex & dating

By Nell Lukosavich

Q: Dear Nell,

I am a straight female with a fairly serious boyfriend. I have recently become interested in experimentation with the same sex, especially straight or bisexual females interested in experimentation. But I have no idea how to go about doing something about this. The problem isn't my boyfriend; he is very supportive and encourages my experimentation. However, I have no idea how to approach another girl about this. Are there any good places to look? I've never been to a gay bar. Do you have any ideas on how to approach someone?
- Experimental

A: Dear Experimental,

Sadly enough, I have a sneaking suspicion that you won't be able to just show up at a Friday night frat fest and meet some ladies. Fortunately, Dallas is a big city with a huge (and growing) gay, lesbian and bisexual population. If you are curious in meeting other people like you (who just want to see what it is like on the other side), come to the Gay, Lesbian Bisexual and Transgender student organization meeting and find out what's it's all about. If your interests lie outside of the SMU community (which it sounds like they do), there is a whole world of options for meeting young lesbian and bisexual women. You should start with the Gay, Lesbian and Transsexual "guidebook" which can be found at www.gaydallas.com. There, you can find listings and rating for different bars and clubs but also for events such as "The Texas Gay Rodeo Association" and the Dallas Gay and Lesbian community center. This is a pretty neat Web site and I think you can find a variety of ways to carry out your curiosity. If you feel like going somewhere on a whim, go to Oak Lawn and check out The Village or Club One (in Deep Ellum) on a Friday or Saturday night. By the way, congratulations for realizing who you could be and acting on it.



Q: Dear Nell,

I let my girlfriend borrow some money from me when we were dating. We've broken up since then, and she never gave me back my money! I don't want to be a [mean guy] about it, but now I really need that money back. Is it wrong to call her and ask her for the money?
- Need Mo' Money

A: Dear Mo' Money,

You're in a really tough spot because dealing with an ex about money (amongst other things) can cause people to get very emotional. You don't mention any details about the break up (as in whose fault it was, who's heartbroken, etc.) and exactly how much money it is ($50 or $500), but I think you need to make a decision: how badly do you want that money back? Getting borrowed money back from people can be hard enough as is from friends, but exes are tricky. If you decide that you need the money back, you will have to confront her. Call her, and tell her that you're really sorry, but you're in a big bind right now for money. Give her a concrete reason for needing the money so she won't feel that you're just harassing her or trying to make her feel bad. Explain that you need the money back as soon as possible and would really appreciate it if she could get it together. Let her mail it, or pick it up from her house so that she won't have to go out of her way to come find you. If she refuses to give it to you or won't call you back, you either give up or go to extreme action, like calling her parents or going to her house and refusing to leave without the money. Do this only if the money is necessary for a heart transplant or donation to the "Bus full of Burning Nuns" fund. If you don't get the money back, there are always other ways to get money: sperm banks, pawn shops and, as always, Harry Hines Boulevard.