Howdy, folks!

By Nancy Black

As I listened to the Arts & Entertainment team brainstorm for ideas this week, I suggested they write a fashion do's and dont's list for the State Fair.

When they gazed at me with blank stares, I realized that some of you out-of-towners may not even know what the State Fair of Texas is. Please allow me to introduce you to one of Texas' greatest traditions.

Housed at Fair Park (get it?) next to the Cotton Bowl (where the Ponies used to play), lies a big ole' bunch of buildings whose contents include everything from pigs to cars. Never touched a cow? Now's your chance. Got your eye on a new SUV to replace your outdated 2000 model? The State Fair is the place for you.

Acres upon acres of every new car on the market are brought to you in the air-conditioned comfort of the Automobile Building. It is where you'll want to go chill out after you've pigged out on all the food.

And we are talking food: corny dogs, corny dogs and more corny dogs. Not corn dogs - corny dogs, and more specifically, Fletchers Corny Dogs. You haven't truly lived in Texas until you've walked around the State Fair with a piping hot corny dog dripping mustard on your hand. It is pure Heaven.

Be sure to leave some room for corn-on-the-cob-on-a-stick, funnel cakes, caramel apples, cotton candy and salt water taffy made right before your very eyes. If you're a bit of a food adventurer, then check out the Food Pavilion, a whole building devoted to the good stuff: German sausages, real Danish danishes, chefs slicing and dicing. Two words: Yum Me.

I should have prefaced all the food talk by saying you should eat AFTER you have ridden all the Midway rides. Some of the attractions are down-right frightening, and it sucks to hurl on the rides. People get pissed if they have to wait in line while the attendant cleans the seats.

There is nothing like seeing the Dallas skyline at sunset from atop the biggest ferris wheel in the world. It's very romantic and, once again, kind of scary, so, please, take my word for it and eat after the rides.

Music is a big part of the Fair, too. Christina Aguilera, Destiny's Child and Lonestar are just a few of the names that will be gracing the stages of the Fair. A variety of other performers, from one man playing spoons to barber shop quartets, also entertain throughout the park.

Expect lots of people; this is a State Fair, after all. But that is the cool part about it. You are going to see every kind of person imaginable (especially if you visit the Freakshow). The Fair is people-watching at its best. And for you cell phone users out there (i.e., everyone), now is the chance to truly use the device for its given purpose - finding your friends who wanted to see the The Women's Museum while you went to see the two-headed horse.

The Midway games are a great way for you greek studs to strut your talents. Darts, basketball throws, air rifles or the ever-present coin-plate toss can bring you closer to winning the heart of the sorority girl of your dreams. Nothing says "I love you" better than a big, stuffed Scooby Doo dog she can proudly cram into her already crowded dorm room. Of course, you'll have to carry it for the rest of the night, so play the Midway games on your way out of the Fair.

Don't leave without seeing Big Tex (he's kind of hard to miss). Standing taller than Dallas Hall, Big Tex greets visitors by saying in a very friendly, yet mechanical way, "Howdy, folks. Welcome to the State Fair of Texas."

His huge boots are a great place to meet those friends you've just tracked down via cell-phone. And speaking of boots...

Here are those fashion do's and dont's that I mentioned earlier:

Wear jeans (blue, not designer). With all the sweets around, seats can get kind of sticky at the Fair. If you do wear shorts, make sure they are not white. First off, they would get so dirty even Tide couldn't get them clean. And secondly, you shouldn't be wearing white after Labor Day anyway.

Wear boots (cowboy, not Prada) or closed-toes shoes. The ground gets sticky, too. And leave those clunky high heels behind. Wearing high heels to the Fair is like wearing swimming fins to your wedding. Definitely a fashion don't.

Bring lots of money; things aren't cheap at the Fair. It only costs $10 to get in, but the food and rides can drain your pocket book fast. You can ride to The Fair free on DART with your SMU ID, though.

The State Fair of Texas runs from Sept. 29 - Oct. 22 from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., seven days a week. There are fireworks and a parade nightly. Check out the Web site at www.bigtex.com.